Taking a Second Look: When Your Child is Twice Exceptional

It is not unusual for teachers and other school staff to believe, that most parents feel that their child is exceptional or gifted in some area. Parents who openly acknowledge that they have a gifted child can be in danger of being perceived as elitist or arrogant. People who hold these views do not understand the special emotional and academic needs of these children. When a child is twice exceptional or identified gifted/disabled, an open acceptance of the child’s giftedness becomes more difficult, for the family and the school.

As the parent of three gifted/disabled children, and a social worker who works in the field of disabilities, I have gradually over time come to accept my own children’s duality. It has been a process that required me to change the way I view disabilities in general, and to focus much more on the strengths, which helped my children to compensate for their areas of deficit. As any parent of a special needs child will tell you, the initial discovery that your child has a disability is devastating. The disability or problems, which lead to classification, and services, can be glaring, especially when there is a behavioral component. Even though a parent may know his child is intelligent or gifted (even in the initial absence of cognitive test scores that support this), his strengths can “get lost” as the main focus, becomes dealing with only the disability. This can be just as true for parents as it is for school staff and other professionals who work with the child. I have found that it can be difficult for parents to really hear and understand what it means to have a twice-exceptional child. It can be so overwhelming just attempting to find the right placement and blend of services that will help this type of student, that little effort or time may be spent on providing opportunities for enrichment in their areas of strength.

How can you explain a child who lacks the fine motor skills to button their own pants, hold a pencil correctly, or is unable to sit still for an extended period, yet is reading way above grade level or has an expert knowledge of ancient civilizations? How can this child possibly be gifted when there may be many things he struggles with? It can be very confusing for the child, parents, and teaching staff. They display an unevenness of abilities (i.e. can perform complex math in their head, but cannot explain the process on paper) that can be difficult to remediate. For these children functioning in the average or low average range in an area can be very frustrating when they are superior in others. They know they are smart and cannot understand why they have to struggle in some areas while they excel in others. They may see their classmates surpass them in school, as their disabilities interfere with them achieving their full potential. These are often the type of children who are not placed in a school district’s gifted program, because despite superior test and I.Q. scores, they do not fit the typical profile of a gifted learner. Parents may also have to fight for years for these children to receive services or even an evaluation, because their deficits are not evident. They use their intelligence to develop splinter skills to help them compensate for their weaknesses. Parents understand that their child is struggling and not working up to their full potential, but they are not failing academically. These parents will often seek private evaluations that confirm their suspicions-their child is twice exceptional. It can be years before it becomes evident what these students are truly capable of, as their deficits are addressed and their nervous systems mature.

Parents of disabled children who are gifted in some area need to start identifying them as gifted/disabled rather than as just disabled. These challenging children have very specific needs, which cannot be properly met by just addressing their deficits. It is vital to recognize, harness, and enhance their abilities both in and out of school. They need to know that they are gifted as well as disabled. They should receive enrichment in their areas of strength. The cost of not doing so can be very high, as the brighter a child is the more aware she is of her strengths and weaknesses, and self esteem is badly damaged when we only focus upon what the child cannot do. This is especially crucial as these children enter adolescence, and are struggling with issues of identity and peer acceptance. If children are not provided, with the right information and support they can have great difficulty accepting and reconciling these two parts of themselves. Their peers may not understand them either; they may be teased for their different learning style or behavior. Some twice-exceptional students may reject the disabled part and even refuse the accommodations and services, which allow them to work to their full ability.

As parents, we have an obligation to educate ourselves and our children about what it means to be twice exceptional. We have to take a second look at our children as learners and individuals. What can parents do when they either know or suspect that their child is gifted/disabled? Parents need to be active participants in their children’s education. When your child is evaluated, learn to read their test results and ask to have them explained to you by school staff. Remember the sub scores on these tests are also important. They must be understood and considered in order to properly plan for your child’s educational needs. A parent may be told that their child with a verbal I.Q. of 135 has a “nice score” when they should be told that he is functioning in the very superior range intellectually. It is also important to understand that children who are anxious, depressed, or have attention deficits will not score as well on I.Q. and other types of tests. These all negatively affect a child’s availability to learn and perform to their full potential. Some types of medications can also lower cognitive performance. Incidentally, while I.Q. scores tend to remain stable, this is often not the case with these children. They can fluctuate and even rise, as they learn to compensate for their disabilities. Parents who are dissatisfied with the quality of their district’s evaluations or who want more information on their child may choose to have their child privately evaluated by professionals who specialize in working with twice-exceptional children.

It is equally important for parents to understand their child’s disability. How does it affect the child as an individual and learner? Parents have to educate themselves about their child’s specific issues in order to be able to explain it to their child and his/her teachers. It is impossible to be an effective advocate for your child if you do not have this vital information. Children also need information about being twice exceptional. Discuss things openly with your child in a manner that is accepting, supportive, and appropriate for their age. Some parents may be hesitant to do this because they are having a difficult time accepting this or in the mistaken belief that they can shield their child from the pain of being different. The majority of these children (even those who may be very disabled in some areas) already know that they are different. Remember they are eventually going to have to advocate for themselves, and have to be comfortable with themselves as individuals with a unique learning style. Parents should explain to children why they are being evaluated, and share these results, teacher’s comments, and their progress with them. My ten year old asked me to discuss the results of her educational evaluations with her when she saw me reading them. They confirmed what she already knew to be true. She was also very proud of the progress she had made in the last three years. It gave her the hope that she would be able to continue to learn how to compensate for her areas of weakness.

What other things are important in helping your twice-exceptional child to reach his full potential? Listen to your child when he tells you what he needs and wants in a school setting. Has he told you that he would like to be in an enrichment program (either in or out of school) or in an accelerated class? My son did this for a couple of years before we, his parents, and the school understood just how capable he was. By the time he reached middle school (a tough transition which most families dread), my son was placed into enrichment classes due to his test scores and grades. If your school has a gifted program, talk to the teachers or administrators of the program. Even if your child does not fit the classic profile of a gifted child, perhaps he can fit into the program even if it is on a more limited basis. At the very least, the TAG teacher should be used as a consultant to provide some assistance in helping the classroom teacher provide some enrichment for your child. Does your child indicate he’s bored, either verbally or by his behavior? Regardless of what type of setting your child is educated in, curriculum should be differentiated to accommodate the different needs of the children in the classroom. Find a mentor. Children like this can feel very isolated if they do not know any other twice-exceptional students. It is very encouraging for them to meet a successful adult or older student who has attained their goals despite their deficits. Twice-exceptional children can be very challenging to teach; it is very important to form a close, positive working relationship with all your child’s teachers. Never assume that any teacher, regardless of his training, will know what to do for your child. Many teachers are surprised to discover that children can be both disabled and gifted. The better a teacher understands your child’s strengths and weaknesses, the more effective a teacher he can be for him. As a parent, maintain expectations for achievement and behavior commensurate with his ability. Your child’s teacher must know what you and your child’s goals are, and everyone must work toward them. Help your child become an active participant in her own education by openly talking about her abilities, special needs, and her own goals. Twice-exceptional children are complicated and often amazing individuals. It is awe inspiring to see what they are capable of accomplishing when accommodations and special education services along with the support of parents and school staff help a child to reach his full potential.